


For You, I Will

by auddity



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Nogitsune, sick!stiles, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auddity/pseuds/auddity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As crazy as it sounded, even to him, Derek could very clearly picture his future with Stiles. He knew how he wanted their life to play out, but Stiles’s condition made that a very slim possibility. If they were lucky they’d get at least a few good years together,  but nothing close to “growing old together.” And goddammit, Derek wanted that; he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything.</p>
<p>Derek helps Stiles deal with the aftermath of the Nogitsune.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You, I Will

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Stiles still has frontotemporal dementia after they defeat the Nogitsune. This one also involves scars... maybe I'm the one with the scar kink...

Derek walked cautiously into the darkened room. Not a good sign, he thought. The figure huddled in the bed gave a soft moan as Derek approached. He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed the damp hair from the boy’s forehead. “How you feeling?” he asked gently.

“It’s really bad today,” Stiles grimaced, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Can I...?” Stiles nodded and Derek carded his hand through his hair, fingers drawing the pain from Stiles’s pounding head. Stiles sighed a bit. “Better?” Derek smiled.

Stiles rolled over, “So much better.” Derek loved how content Stiles looked, how relaxed, He loved that he’d been the one to put that look on his face. “It’s getting worse. Soon you’re going to have to start visiting me every day just so I can get up in the morning.”

“That can be arranged.” Derek frowned, “The meds they gave you aren’t helping?”

“They dull the pain but they also make everything really foggy. I’d rather have clear memories...while I’m still...lucid.” Stiles avoided Derek’s gaze, “I can handle the pain.”

Derek smiled sadly to himself. He didn’t miss the stutter in Stiles’s heartbeat.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Stiles shrugged off Derek’s hand.

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me. Like you don’t believe me.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. “I hate feeling like this,” he said angrily, “I hate being weak.” 

“You’re not-”

“I am. I was too weak to stop the Nogitsune from controlling me and now look at me. I’m dying, Derek.”

Derek felt his breath leave him at those words. Dying. He didn't think anyone had spoken it aloud yet. He shook it off and reached for Stiles. “You’re not weak. You’re stronger than any of us.”

“Bullshit. I’m just a human. A terminally ill, nothing-supernatural-going-on-here human.”

“You did what no one else could. You fought the Nogitsune. You fought so hard and you expelled him. You left him vulnerable so we could destroy him. That wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

“You don’t know…” Stiles moaned, and to his horror Derek saw tears streaming down his face, “If you knew…”  
“Knew what?” he grabbed Stiles by the shoulders, forcing him to look at him, “What don’t I know?”

“I…” he hesitated, “I almost let him stay. I w-wanted to so badly, I was so close Derek. I almost let him stay.” Derek saw the all-too familiar glint of guilt behind his eyes. “He was going to kill you - everyone - but I didn’t care, because if I’d let him stay, then maybe, m-maybe I would have lived - maybe I could have-”

“But you didn’t,” Derek felt his own tears wet his cheeks, “You chose to save us instead of yourself.”

“I felt so powerful when he was controlling me,” Stiles whispered, “I liked that feeling.”

“Believe me,” Derek said darkly, “I know what it’s like to be drunk on power. But you chose to expel him. You chose to come back even though you knew it might cost you your life. You chose to be you, regular old human Stiles, just like you chose not to take the bite. That’s what makes you strong Stiles, stronger than Scott, or Isaac, or I will ever be. It doesn’t matter that you thought about the alternative, all that matters is that you came back.”

Stiles exhaled, shuddering slightly, “Can you hold me now?”

Derek smiled and crawled into bed with him. He cradled Stiles’s head against his chest. He decided then and there to take any and all chances to hold Stiles like this. Only Sheriff Stilinski knew just how often Derek had been visiting Stiles. Since they’d defeated the Nogitsune, Stiles had had a steady stream of visitors aiding his recovery and bringing him homework when he was too sick for school. Derek’s visits just blended in with the flow of traffic, his scent masked by the vague scent of pack that now permanently lingered in the room. But as Derek’s visits became longer and more frequent they’d both realized their relationship was more than friendly. It was only a matter of time before the pack found out as well.

\--

“Stiles?” Derek rushed into the animal clinic, frantically scanning the waiting room for the teen, “Stiles?!” He scrambled to the floor of the exam room where Stiles lay bleeding from what looked like self-inflicted wounds. “What the hell are you doing?” he growled, quickly applying pressure to the symbols he’d etched into his forearms. 

“Get off me!” Stiles struggled in Derek’s grasp, “I don’t know how much time I have. I waited weeks for this. I have to finish…” he looked wildly around, eyes landing on an open book of runes. “Just...one...more…” he raised the scalpel towards his arm.

“Stop!” Derek barked, “This isn’t you, Stiles, we’re going to get you help.”

“This is me!” he screamed frantically, “This is me Derek. I saved my strength for weeks to push him back for just a few minutes, and I’ll be damned if I let you ruin this!”

“But-” Derek protested.

“LET ME GO!” Stiles freed himself and bared the knife at Derek. He backed away with his hands raised in surrender. “Just let me do this. Trust me, it’s for your own good.” He took a shaky breath, trying to convince himself as much as Derek, “It’s for the best.”

He sliced down his arm, completing the last symbol, and immediately a blast of silver light radiated from Stiles, knocking Derek backwards. 

\--

Derek traced the raised, red scars on Stiles’s arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Stiles looked up, “For what?”

“For all the times I hurt you, or made you feel stupid or inadequate. Or pushed you into stuff,” Stiles chuckled, “I’m sorry I almost stopped you from expelling the Nogitsune.”

“You were just worried about me.”

“Yeah, but I almost let him win. I almost fucked it up, just like I fuck everything else up.”

“Hey,” Stiles sat up and took Derek’s face in his hands, “Stop that. Stop getting so down on yourself. I only have so long left and I will not have you pouting the whole time.”

“That’s not funny.”

Stiles kissed him. “No, but it’s true. We don’t know how long I have; I just want to enjoy the time we do have.”

Derek’s heart clenched at the word we, whether from joy or despair, he didn’t know. Maybe it was a little of both. As crazy as it sounded, even to him, Derek could very clearly picture his future with Stiles. He knew how he wanted their life to play out, but Stiles’s condition made that a very slim possibility. If they were lucky they’d get at least a few good years together, but nothing close to “growing old together.” And goddammit, Derek wanted that; he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything.

“I’m s-sorry,” he choked out again.

“No,” Stiles said resolutely, “no more apologizing.”

“But we could’ve had so much more time,” Derek despaired, “If only I’d-”

“Stop it. Neither of us were ready for this before now, you know that. It happened when it was supposed to, exactly like it was supposed to.”

“Have you thought any more about Scott’s offer?” Derek hated himself for asking; neither he nor Stiles really wanted him to accept the bite and he knew he was pushing his luck.

Stiles’s face clouded with anger, “If I said no when I was fucking possessed by the Nogitsune, what the hell makes you think I would say yes now?”

“Because you have me now,” Derek whispered.

Stiles felt his heart shatter at Derek’s words. His anger disappeared and he pulled Derek close. He wished he could just cling to him until it all went away. Pull it together, he told himself, Derek needs you now. “It’s not that, Der, of course I want to stay for you. You-you’re literally all that gets me out of bed in the morning-” Stiles hated the pain that flicked across Derek’s face “-I just, I can’t, okay? I can’t take that risk. Not just for me, but for you too.”

“What do you mean? What risk? You’re strong Stiles,” Derek assured him, “You’d survive the bite.”

“It’s not that,” he shook his head, trying to work up the nerve to voice his true concern, “What if it doesn’t heal my mind? What if it doesn’t stop the dementia?”

“If it’s medical, then it should.”

“But what if it’s more psychological?” Stiles argued. “What if it heals me physically but my mind still breaks down? Wait-” he halted abruptly, “How long do werewolves live? Longer than humans, right?”

“Yeah,” Derek admitted, guessing where this was going.

“So what if I end up trapped in a physically healthy body but with pea soup for brains? You’ll be stuck with me forever and you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone - someone who’ll-” Stiles panted heavily, thoroughly worked up.

“Hey, hey,” Derek soothed, “I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want to do. I want you. That’s it.” Stiles paused, stunned into silence by Derek’s candor. Derek took his hand, “I just want as much time as I can possibly get with you, and I feel like an idiot for not realizing sooner-”

“You’re not an idiot.”

“-but I need you to know something. I’m not going anywhere, okay? Whether you choose the bite or not, I’m going to stand by you. I’m going to be right here with you.” He laced their fingers together as Stiles buried his face in his shoulder.

“What about when I start getting confused?” he asked, voice muffled a bit, “What happens when I can’t remember who you are?”

He felt his heart break at the thought, “I’ll explain it to you. As many times as I have to.”

Stiles chuckled, “You are not a patient man Derek Hale.”

Derek kissed him softly, “For you, I will be.”

The front door banged downstairs. “Stiles?” Scott called, “I brought curly fries!”

“Should I go?” Derek asked, already making his way to the window.

“Don’t you dare,” Stiles grabbed his arm and yanked him back to the bed, “He’s gonna smell you all over me anyways. Might as well bite the bullet and tell him.”

Derek smiled and kissed him deeply, not caring at all what Scott thought when he walked in on them.


End file.
